Master Cleanse Mid-Point Perspective

As some of you may be aware, I am currently on Stanley Burroughs’ Master Cleanse. This is a minimum 10-day commitment to eating no food and drinking a lemonade-like beverage six to twelve times a day for the duration. As I just finished day five, I wanted to share my thoughts on what I’ve been thinking these past five days and my thoughts on the upcoming five as well as the “weaning-off” period for the five after that.

Depending on who you talk to, I’m either crazy or admirable for deciding to put myself through this. The cleanse has been touted by many as a sort of “cure-all” for whatever ails you. Since I have many ailments (as well as a few extra pounds that I could stand to shed while fasting), I figured I’d give it a shot.

I started on Friday, July 11 and didn’t realize at the time I’d be suffering through two weekends on this. The first few days had me feeling pretty good, surprisingly, as the maple syrup/lemon juice/cayenne pepper combo didn’t appear to giving any adverse effects. I also didn’t realize exactly how long 10 days could feel. The amazing weight-loss results each morning were enough to propel me forward without another thought. The loss stopped for days four and five and thus have been slightly more difficult as I am now sick of the lemon beverage and desire pretty much anything I can chew (gum is a no-no). Right now, Sunday the 20th feels so far away…

Earlier this year, my parents and youngest sister did the master cleanse and seemed to breeze right through it, salt water flush and all. I find myself calling my Mom for advice almost daily as the encouragement is necessary for me to keep plugging away at it. That, and the fact that if I did cheat now, I would get horrendously ill and probably throw up anything that dares to enter my stomach. Cheers to everyone at work for listening to me babble on incessantly about this cleanse (sorry Sara…I’m trying, I swear!)

Hours and hours of not eating makes one realize exactly how much of my life is centered on eating – hanging out with friends being the primary source. To reward myself for completing homework, to celebrate after a tough week at work with a nice dinner, to eat simply because I’m home from work or feeling happy, I realized abruptly that I can’t do anymore. The sense called smell has been an indispensible coping mechanism that is allowing me to go through this cleanse with an ounce of sanity. I will take food and just smell it for five minutes because I know what it tastes like and with some good deep breaths, it is almost the same.

For all this pain, I have lost 7.5 lbs thus far. Has it been worth it? If it stays off after I’m finished, yes. Do I expect it to? Probably not, but I’m not going to go overboard either and eat everything in sight; I haven’t been tortured that much by this. It’s more mental than anything else. The part that bums me out the most is that even after I make it to Sunday food-free, on Monday my reward is…orange juice? I suppose the taste will be most welcome as it is something different, but I kind of want to just dive into a bag of chips or jello or something. It’s two days of OJ followed by a day of vegetable soup and then the next day I can finally indulge in a salad or nuts. Next week Friday (25th) I can attempt to eat normally if my stomach allows. Until then, I will jam myself into the smallest clothes I can find in my closet and enjoy my flat (if not concave) tummy while it lasts.

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Rowed Rage!

Coming to you from the hot hot heat of BC, it is I once again. Since it is mid-July and I have a lull in homework at the current moment, I find it appropriate to blog about rainy May and my exploits into the sport of rowing. Jealous? You should be, because rowing is quite honestly one of the most fun sports I’ve participated in….well, ever.

Each year UFV sponsors a corporate rowing team for a seven-week, intensive haul culminating with a regatta. After busting our rears while battling excessive bird poop, buckets of rain, and lugging an awkward, massive fiberglass boat weighing close to 150 lbs down treacherous docking, we were out for blood.

The regatta took place at the UBC John MS Lecky Boathouse in Richmond on May 23. We (me and my fellow rower/cubicle neighbour Sara) cut out from work early and took the long drive down to the muddy water of the Georgia Strait.







Since we were all official and whatnot, we even got shirts with both UFV team names crested on the sleeves.


Me, bundled in three shirts, modeling the back.


Sara, modeling the sleeves. Very nice!

So basically there were about 20 newbie teams and probably 12 returning teams. After a few delays, the heats began and everyone got psyched.





As it happened, both of our UFV teams were scheduled to race against one another in the same heat. Yikes!




My team and I getting psyched as we await the arrival of our quad.


Getting all adjusted…and quite nervous.


Our team, out on the far right, by the starting line.

Unfortunately my camera batteries died before any real pictures were taken of our crew slamming into the other UFV boat and going on to win the heat, creaming UFV as well as Stantec. HA!



Thankfully, each team was given two heats so we got ourselves riled up once more before heading onto the water for our final push.




Our wonderful coxswain and coach, Jamie.


Getting re-saddled in. This boat was a lot tippier than our previous boat which put us on edge a bit.


I was stroke seat, which meant I set the pace for my fellow rowers and have massive strength. Hee!





After pushing off and rowing to the starting line once more, we were off and had a great start…





…until our bow seat kind of “whoops’ed” and let her oar get yanked away and caught under the current. We still came in second, so it wasn’t a total wash. I don’t think we would have won that heat anyways since the other team that won was three burly dudes and a woman. We creamed Stantec again though…but I think they really sucked.





While we were a little sad to have lost after our first awesome win, we were also relieved we didn’t have to race again as we were exhausted. We had great times in both our heats, our best time being 1:56 for 500M. Now that we were free, we cheered on our teammates who successfully beat our best time in their heat at 1:55.



Once we were finished, Jean stopped by and we headed into downtown for a delicious bowl of ramen at Benkei. It was soooo gooood.








Mmm…boiled egg…corn…hot boy that was manning the tables…chashu…what?

We capped the evening off by stopping off at the Westin Bayshore to crash a prom. Barred entry, we lazed in the lobby for a short while before our journey home.

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Four Weddings And A Kayak

As my long-awaited exam came and went with much blood, sweat, and tears, I know it is now time to perform my next sworn duty, blogging. Since I am now in a position where I can spend a few moments sharing, let’s talk about Calgary.

On May long weekend, I had the distinct pleasure of hopping on an aircraft and whisking off to Calgary to enjoy their balmy breezes and solider a wedding excursion up to Banff (also pronounced “Ban-fa-fa-fa” courtesy of Ed Harder). And so, out from Abbotsford, I flew.






Mount Baker



I’ve arrived! So my Sis picked my up and we headed back to her apartment in her car with no AC. That was the weekend of intense, deathly heat, so I, naturally, nearly died. Or just complained a lot. That evening my sister had some stuff to do, so I called up Brett to find out if Calgary could afford a bit of trouble created by our meeting.



We decided that our haunt for the night would be the patio at Ouzo, a Greek restaurant. We had a very nice waiter who referred to Brett as “honey” and “sweetie”. Or at least, I’m pretty sure that’s how it went down. We ordered a platter of ancient Greek delicacies and set about verbally destroying everything we could think of.



We sat there for a while…





..it was funny. You had to be there, I guess.

The next day we were out for an early breakfast with the Bride’s wedding party and family at Cora’s. My sister and I both spilled things, I think, and then it was off to do some shopping before getting in our little racecar and heading out of the city to Ban-fa-fa-fa.


This leads me to believe my Mother is living a parallel existence in Calgary as a real estate agent. You’d think one would pick something slightly more exciting.


Coooooooooool runnings!


Ugh. So (temperature) hot.






Poor Sis had to wear sunglasses on top of her glasses because she has a bum eye. Sniff sniff.


Sahara-ish









After a round of Spice Girls tunes, we arrived at our lodge only severely sweatier than when we left.





This is Buffalo Mountain Lodge. It was quite a nice little luxe spot for us to spend our May long weekend.


This is our cabin.


This is Sis, two minutes after arriving, unpacked and tuning in to watch “Free Willy”.


Our balcony


The fireplace we didn’t use.


My bed

After a dinner adventure into the town and picking up some wine and chocolate, we headed back for a bit of relaxation before heading to the Steph and Mark’s (Bride & Groom) room to drink said wine and other beverages of choice.




View from Steph and Mark’s room


Their massive bathroom that came fully stocked with a bottle of Tums.


Party people


Erin’s party cup




Just to remind you that we are still in Ban-fa-fa-fa


The fire inside


More party people

After spending more time on the balcony and admiring the glorious fire built by Gordner, I called it a night.







The next day, we headed into the town for a girls’ lunch at Earls before the wedding preparations were underway.






Sis, Kelly and I


Lynette and Steph (the bride)

Before the wedding, Sis and Kelly decided to partake in the hottub while I did some interneting.



Soon it was time for the late-afternoon wedding in the meadow, so we got ready and off we went.










The crazy cellist






The gorgeous bride!














Kelly, Gordner and Sis in the post-wedding heat.





Soon, we were reception-bound in search of food. We hit the open bar early and started into the appetizers while dying for a breeze through the open patio doors. Ah, the first (and apparently last) taste of summer.










I love food pictures









After a laaate night for Sis, she was up bright and early to join in on the group breakfast in the main lodge. Dericious!









After stuffing ourselves once more, we decided to check out and partake in the hottub once more before heading out for the day’s adventures.






I love how I’m so white that I blend right into the background. Actually, I don’t really love that.



After bidding goodbye to the wedding people and wishing Steph and Mark a glorious week in Jamaica, Sis and I decided we’d combat the other hundreds of wedding-goers in Banff that weekend to try to make our way to the Bow River for some kayaking. As Sis had never kayaked before, I was in for some interesting comments, although I didn’t know it at the time…






The self-proclaimed “Masterful kayaker” in action.


(You always have to include the tip of the front of your kayak in each shot so people know you were there and are cool/adventurous/etc)


I saw this expression a lot that day


Here we are, on our way to being lost in the barrens.


Looming storm


And then it was sunny.


And then it was stormy again.


Here is Sis regaling to me about how they are going to find our bodies lost in these fields of water and burnt-out trees in the foot of water beneath our kayaks.






Stormy? Sunny? It cannot decide.


Gotta love Necky-lass kayaking.









After two hours of being schooled in “masterful kayaking”, we scooted into shore and made our way out of Ban-fa-fa-fa and onwards toward Calgary. That night it was more fun and education with my old buddy B-Malio, getting hit up by bums downtown wanting money. The next day, my last in Calgary, Sis and I shopped before heading out for a night of eating at the Keg and this insane dessert place where the waitress was quite a B.

The next day I busted out of Calgary early as I had to work at lunch back here in good old British Columbia. That’s me…such a jet-setting B. No big deal.


Ja…mata ne?

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