Like Boys

Getting back into the swing of life was disappointingly easier than I had hoped. After being carted around Japan as a passenger on the left-hand side, I thought at least I’d walk to the wrong side once…nope. Or maybe when I purchase something at a store, I would drop an accidental, “Arigatou gozaimasu!”...negatory. I want to seem all cool and well-traveled, but alas, I am not. Ah well, can’t fight the bum rush…what?

After seeing the fashionable beings in Tokyo, I have become inspired to put more thought into dressing with style. (Please quit laughing now.) Part of this inspiration is due to the visits I made to the shops down in Aoyama, particularly COMME des GARCONS. While I can’t financially make the transition to shopping only there (yet), I must find reasonable alternatives in my price range…and I found it. While riding back from Vancouver one day with Jean, I noticed a billboard that made my jaw drop…(similar to this…I’m not still in Japan, afterall):



For those of you unfamiliar, those dots are the mark of a designer…collaborating with H&M. Here’s the answer (if you can read it):



COMME des GARCONS…at H&M prices. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.

Previewing the collection, I was really excited about the pieces that would be coming up for sale for the mid-November release:


Yippee! I want! Hoshii!

There have been several collaboration collections with H&M in the past – Madonna, Karl Lagerfield (Chanel), Viktor & Rolf, and Roberto Cavalli – each selling out in less than 10 minutes. From what I could tell from the hype on the internet, this one was going to be huger than them all. Oh no! I hate battling shoppers for goods. Horrific images of that Arnold Schwartzegger Christmas movie flashed through my mind where he was fighting with some lady over a toy. I never actually saw the movie, but it was prevalent in the previews.

Come launch day, I woke up bright and early and battled insane morning traffic all the way into Vancouver’s downtown. I arrived 20 minutes before the store opened…and there were probably over 200 people in line, waiting to get in. This…sucks. I stoically took my place at the end of the line and the people kept coming. There was a security guard to made sure no one cut the line…people tried.

I knew the doors were opened when I heard a loud “WHOOOOO!” from the front of the line. The line began to move.



Once I arrived in the store, I was struck with panic – people were grabbing loads of hangers and the racks were quickly being stripped bare. In my haste, I just started grabbing at stuff too, making sure it was my size and moving onto the next rack which was quickly being whittled down at a record speed. In five minutes, it was all over.

Once the dust had settled, I had eight items in my hand and dutifully took my place in line for the changeroom. I made a line-up friend who was eager to chat with me about his experience in loving COMME des GARCONS and was carrying a book about it and whatnot…I can’t relate to this guy, but he was nice. There were four massive b’s in the change rooms who just stood around and talked…in the clothes they were trying on, so the lineup took forever. I ended up with just four of the eight pieces – even though the line was sold through H&M, they weren’t exactly the prices I had hoped for. Eeep.




I also bought one of these in black.




I adore this trench. This picture does not do it justice at all.

After my excursion, I raced home to regroup, (take the above pictures), and regroup. Having also just finished my most recent cleanse, it was time for lunch.

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Sticky & Sweet

On October 30, things got really sticky and sweet. What kind of things, you ask? Well, probably the floor of BC Place Stadium in Vancouver. Severely fatigued and jet-lagged thanks to my fresh return from Japan, I was dragged (yeah, I’m calling it that) to Vancouver mid-week to attend the biggest concert of the year, Madonna.

Janelle drove into Surrey and we took the Skytrain down to Waterfront for dinner before the show, which was to start at 7:30. We both ate pizzas at Aqua Riva before heading down to the mayhem that was occurring around and inside the stadium. We followed the herds that came off the Skytrain outside and down the wet streets, to where we assumed the stadium would be. Similar to the NEWS concert, I could tell when fellow train-riders were also concert-goers as the Madonna attendees wore either a lacy ensemble a la ‘Like a Virign’, a cone bra from whatever period that was, pimp clothes from the ‘Music’ era, or total ‘80s from her ‘Material Girl’ days. Okay, no one was wearing pimp clothes, but the rest was true. There were also girls just randomly also dressed-up as hoes. Perfect.

As I just returned from the land of a generally well-behaved public, I was aghast to discover the heathens that surrounded me now – swearing a blue streak, pot-smoking, boob-flashing, public make-out sessions…eeee! Save me! Who are these creatures? Oh yeah, they are lame-brain 30-somethings who never out-grew their Madonna phase.

Janelle and I managed to wedge ourselves through the crowds and into the stadium, where we didn’t fare much better. The concourse was loaded full of people lining up to buy the (outrageously-priced) merch …a t-shirt for $45? Geeze. After enduring a trip to the washrooms (where girls would scream from in the stall that people should flush more, etc), we navigated our way to our seats and settled in for the long wait; Madonna was to come on at 9:00, and it was only 8:00. I got our tickets through my friend Kathryn from work (thanks Kathryn!) and there were several other coworkers also attending.


These are $200, non-scalper-bought seats. I must say, I was a bit disappointed with how far away we were for paying so much…but let me tell you, I am NOT a concert person (unless you are dancing Japanese boy band.)

At 9:28 PM, the b that is Madonna took the stage. I was so tired, but decided to soldier through it. Do you want to see my pictures from the mile away that I was? Here they are anyways:












Oi…I can see her six-pack from here.



After the first set of songs, my batteries began their journey to death…and a quick death it was. I coaxed them back to life several times before they kicked the bucket for good. Boo.






Madonna inside some swirly thing.














The masses, basking in the afterglow.






Bye bye Madonna.

I gotta say that the lady’s got a bangin’ bod (if a bit too mannish for my tastes) but her face is a bit hollow and decrepit-looking. I don’t blame her though, she was going through some tough times right then…or whatever. Anyways, by the end, I was pretty much an empty container since my brain had long since melted into a puddle of goo. After her last song, the people were chanting for an encore, but Janelle and I booted it out of there asap since I was on the short-path to becoming an invalid. Turns out Madonna don’t do no encore…she seems like a bit of a cow, so I’m not surprised, really.

As Janelle and I walked towards the Skytrain station, we linked arms (pretty much so I would stay upright) and were approached by a young gentleman…er, dude and had the following exchange:
Dude: “Hey, do you girls know where the lesbian bar, Licks, is?”
Janelle: “No, sorry.”
I guess we look like lesbians. Just thought I’d let you know…linked arms = lesbians. Possibly.

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