Magic Kingdom

Would it be wrong to say that the Magic Kingdom is something of a must-visit-once-in-your-life kind of destination? I think every child might agree with me. Of course, as we get older, we don’t care, but it doesn’t mean a visit isn’t still warranted. I always intended to make my way to DisneyWorld at some point, but I hadn’t actually anticipated spending the funds to get here for a proper vacation. Today, I will visit the theme park to end them all, the Magic Kingdom. Kind of sounds like a place Michael Jackson would be fond of – maybe I will be too!


We must jam down some food beforehand – I need the energy to pretend I’m six again.


My new crappy paper ticket. My plastic one wasn’t working, so I got issued this piece of paper. Boo! Where’s the magic?

Papa-chu lost his ticket (somehow), so they had to find someplace where he could get a replacement. I had to sit and wait, and while I did, the magic began! Wonder of wonders, Peter Pan’s legs and feet appeared on the pavement. Well, it kind of looked that way.



Getting inside the actual park was an exercise like no other. We had to park, then catch the trolley to the monorail. Catch the monorail to the park, and then line up to get inside. And geeze LOUIS, the people were out again in full force. The holiday was yesterday, people! Get back to school and work! Some of us have ride we’d like to go on.













I’m starting to feel like those middle-aged ladies who love love love Disney and Mickey and buy the crewneck sweatshirts and wear mom jeans. Thank the good Lord I’m not middle-aged.





The Pirates ride in Florida is the exact same ride as in Japan – a constant overture of “Dead men tell no tales. Dead men tell no tales. Dead men tell no tales.” I remember the ride before the movies (yessir, that’s a while back already) and they were kind of more fun. But people love Johnny Depp. So whatevs.





I just want to say something right here: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Okay, now that it’s out, I was really excited to ride “It’s a Small World”. It was closed when I was in Japan and I haven’t had the chance to ride it since I was seven. So, like, that’s a few years ago, you know? We ate lunch perched at a prime view for boarding these little vessels.



The lines were too long though, so we decided to bide our time and head over to ride the paddlewheel boat.


As you can see, the crowds are still out in ridiculous numbers. Gross.

The boat rides around Tom Sawyer island and I began having flashbacks to grade eight and Brad Renfro.







Big Thunder Mountain!


They always have the ability to make small things look huge in Disney.

The parade came around in the mid-afternoon, but I always have a hard time being bothered by it. All I can think about is how the rides are likely empty and I should be taking advantage of this momentary distraction. It’s like, “hey, what’s that?” Point, and run.




This is Minnie’s house.

We decided, after going on a real safari yesterday, that we should go on the fake one today. Have you ever been on the Jungle Cruise? The props are laughable, but let’s pretend.


Oh my. Here’s an elephant.


What’s this. It looks like Pride Rock from the Lion King. I’m obsessed with Mufasa. (deadpan)


This was our near-miss with a hippo. Wow. It was scary. That’s why it is blurry.




I didn’t realize elephants smiled. Watch out. They are going to spray us. (I really wish there was a deadpan font.)



Okay, that was, er, fun, hey? Time for a food break.


Tastiest chocolate muffins maybe…ever. I could go for another right now. At least Disney gets something right. *rotfl*



The time has come…to go on ‘It’s a Small World’. Let the reliving of my youth begin.







The good news: It hasn’t changed much since I was a child. The kids with the wooden shoes, the singing, etc….hasn’t been touched since the park was open in the ‘70’s.

The bad news: I was at one point enthralled with this ride. Okay, I was seven, but this ride is really quite poor quality when you compare it with some of the others. I mean, Winnie the Pooh has this ride licked in a heartbeat. Poor, sweet little seven-year-old Erin, so easily swept away by singing puppets in wooden shoes.

I kept riding some rides, then I rode some more rides. The Haunted Mansion, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, (Splash Mountain was closed for renos – WORST moment of the day.) Of course, darkness fell like it always does, but I kept going. It was ridiculously and unseasonably cold this day – I was bundled in two jackets and three shirts and was considering buying a pair of big, fluffy Mickey gloves to keep my hands a reasonable temp.








I want one Daddy! I want one just like it and I want one now! I mean, who doesn’t want a castle that changes colors?

The night parade is just a bit more interesting since it glows in the dark and I like shiny things (such as Apple’s OSX, but I’m digressing).








Is he kind of looking at me? I swear we made eye contact. I’m kind of friends with him now. It’s no big deal.











Night parades are the way to go – you can’t see all the lame, you know, wheels and stuff, that day parades show. Pfft. Wheels. Who needs ‘em.



I had hoped the people would all have left, but as it turns out, they just all congregated at the Peter Pan ride – the one we had saved for last because the line was ridiculously long all day. So we waited in line for 40 minutes for the 3-minute ride. Not worth it, in case you didn’t do the math on that one. Oh Peter!



It was dang near 11 PM by the time we got out of there – we’re such crazy nachtche-schveen (German for…night pigs? Bizarre.) ♫♪ And another one bites the dust! ♫♪

Tomorrow is the world stage – EPCOT! Get your 1980’s t-shirts on people!

ps – Did I ever tell you why there is still nasty swarms of human bodies though the holiday was on Monday? Well, as it turns out, President’s Day is actually President’s Week. Lame. They give kids the whole damn week off of school and so it turns into one of DisneyWorld’s busiest weeks all year – whoopsie doodle! I would never have come if I knew it was going to be like this. A venerable little shop of horrors. The horrors being the children, of course.