Hack-ey

Immediately after arriving home from Calgary, the playoffs began, the PRESIDENT'S TROPHY WINNERS (2X BABY!) started their epic failure of a playoff run. I wanted to take part because I like to throw money at the NHL(?). Having a friend who worked at StubHub and her specific offer one Wednesday possessed me and my good ol' buddy Jen to shell out the coin to attend a home playoff game. Dragged her to the pre-skate too. She had no idea.



We hit the jackpot big time when we ended up near MARK DONNELLY! Hermagersh. Jen didn't know who we was at first and then she wanted a picture together. What a poser.




We may live forever.

The seats were SICK. We could smell the B.O. from our chairs.



The atmosphere was INTENSE until they started losing. Bad. Then everyone left and we had our whole section almost to ourselves. Kind of embarrassing to be a fan with those people on those nights.



That was the beginning of an epic near-sweep by the Kings. Wah!


Like a train wreck.

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Went East-er

As is tradition, I headed to Calgary for Easter. I went East-er, get it?!? (Booo!) Anyway, no better person/place to visit than my sister, Sis. I somehow managed to convince her to drop major coinage on a Calgary/Canucks game (remember, this is 2012 and the Canucks are reasonably decent. Heck, they may win the President’s Trophy), so this trip, for me, I was losing my shizz. As is normal for me, when going to see the Canucks, I put on my full regalia – hair extentsions, plastered on make-up, and jersey for the entire day. Hey...don’t judge. Sis invited one of her friends along (thankfully, a Canucks fan – this train don’t stop for no Flames Fools) and we started our Cancucky adventure at the Dutton Lounge at the Saddledome. We were in the minority, but felt immediate rapport with anyone in a ‘Nucks jersy. ‘Course.










Yum? I guess I forgot the “before” picture.



Obvio I forced everyone to watch the pre-skate with me – best part of the whole game (especially when they lose.)




That time when Kes had blonde hair.


What ever happened to Bitz?


Sami Salo staring me down to death AGAIN. I wonder what he has against me?




My sister said, “This IS pretty cool” when Luongo and his bum hung out right by. Indeed.




In case you can’t tell, I love me some 2012 Edler.




MURPH!



In case you couldn’t tell, this is a pretty hockey-oriented post rn.


My bb in the sin bin.


A hockey game.


LAPP!

So they lost. And people were making fun of us in the parking lot. THANKS A LOT CANUCKS!

Shifting away from that stanky loss, me and Sis got up to more shenanigans. Of course, we went to Holt Renfrew where I (apparently) convinced Sis to buy her first Hermes scarf. Wha? Me? That doesn’t sound like me at all. We also ate dinner at a restaurant where the ladies were really fancy:


To the left (to the left.)



We also spent some time watching the childhood classic, “Jem”.


”Synergy! I need your help!”


Someone’s excited about their new Hermes scarf.

For the last Canucks game of the season (yup, we’re back here), we went to some pig restaurant on 8 Ave.




I’ll take two whole roast pigs, please.

On Easter Sunday, we went to some Executive Inn or something and had brunch. Sis likes food and is the best food eater ever.



We also did some shopping and playing of Akinator the Genie.




Cliché shoe shot. Were my pants really that short? Doesn’t surprise me.


Who is this little kid? High tables, man.

We also did some 17th. Can’t not do 17th.







I also happened to find this amazing machine of temporary tattoos.



That Lorena Bobbitt tattoo was tempting, but too much risk that I wouldn’t get it. Biggest regret of my life.

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Lappy Dance

My real birthday arrived with significantly less than a bang. However, by the end of the day I would be buzzing like a cuckoo bird! Here’s the scoop.

After going to work for a couple hours (where the main task was supressing my excitement), I cut out at lunch and headed into Surrey where I leapt onto the Skytrain for my journey to the NHL. HEART OF A CANUCK indeed. I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I met with Jen for some pre-game snacks at Pivo Public House.



Jen is one of my oldest friends…on earth. So there’s a lot of history there. And so, she made me this:








LMAO. For the unfamiliar…the first bunch were Brad Renfro (Brenfro), Kevin Bacon (kembkn), and Mike Herrera (no nickname.) The second was Maxim Lapierre (Lappy.) The sad creature in the last photo is Justin Bieber’s head on Ryan Kesler’s body. BOOOOOOOOOO. None of that, please. Of any kind. BEST CARD EVER. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even hold it up in the restaurant.

Eventually Jen and I bid adieu and I met up with Marty in front of Rogers Arena. I was frothing at the mouth outside the club gate doors the second they started allowing people inside. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.

Oh ps – in case you didn’t know by now, Marty’s birthday gift was Canuck tickets (my idea.) Row 6, baby. I die!!






Here’s Dale Weise. Who, you ask? Exactly. He’s a sometimes-fourth-liner who likes to bask in the glory of being the first Canuck everyone sees when they walk into the arena.



I waited at the glass with baited breath for the warm-up to start. I was soon surrounded by small children, all in $100 jerseys, discussing how they are going to go about getting a warm-up puck today. These kids are 20 years ahead of me in the hockey department.



Once they started tossing out the pucks, I knew it had to be getting close. The child pool around me began to swell.











At one point, I was on the big screen with Henrik Sedin. It was pretty rad. The children became rangy, hitting the glass and yelling at the top of their lungs to try and get the attention of their favorite player. It was like I was surrounded by a group of misbehaving monkeys. I was a little embarrassed for myself being lumped in with this motley crew. And then Lappy (#40) skated by.


Not perfect lighting, but the man in the foreground is the same one in my birthday card – the one that wasn’t Ryan Kesler’s body.



















Well, wasn’t that fun? Eventually the real game began and I had to mosey my way over to my actual seat. Although I feel like I already got my money’s worth…




Lu, doing what I call his “gorilla pose”.




Scrappy Lappy.


See Marty? They are fist-bumping!









So, in the end, we creamed those stinky Minnesota Wild. Lu notched his first shutout of the year and we scored four goals. Sounds like a dang-near perfect birthday gift to me.





That would be the last (also, first) time I’d see Lappy single…he suddenly felt the need to get engaged three days after this. Wahh, my life.

I’d like to conclude the birthday blogs with this picture of me drinking chai out of the smallest cup on earth during my birthday celebrations with my aunt. I’m old now! Small portions only!

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