Shyp (Part 6)

It’s weird how when I first get on a cruise ship, I’m like, “I have so much time to do ____.” And then, here we are, at the last full day on board and I’m lazy and didn’t do what I wanted. But there is always one thing I do make sure I do, and that’s eat.enough.for.everyone. Apparently the average person gains 10 lbs on a 7-day cruise. I don’t. Want to know how? I’m usually so poor that my cabin is on deck 1. And the food is on deck 8 or 9. That’s a heck of a lot of stairs. But it works. And then there was the chocoholic buffet.





I always go into it all worried that I’m going to overeat and then I actually start eating and bottom-out real quick. Too sweet, America.

The afternoon onboard was full of a lot of nothing (except the most exciting Canucks game of the season and the sports bar decided to be lame and not show it – WAHHHHH) and before we knew it, it was dinner, which we decided to enjoy in the dining room. It was real nice.










Does this sum it up? It should.


Practicing for playoffs. (sniff sniff)

Before the evening’s show, we headed back to our room to relax and drink the 1L of rum they brought to our room. Yay!




Uh-huh. We drank that rum.

The last night on board is always a little quiet and eerie because people are busy packing and hitting the hay early as we dock at some hideous hour.





Time rolled around for second supper, which for me means OD’ing on hot dogs loaded with sauerkraut.





There was a ghost showboat following our cruise ship each and every night of the cruise…it was always in the same spot in the water – far enough to not make out any discernable characteristics, but close enough to see that it wasn’t a cruise ship. You know, like the ghost showboats on Scooby Doo. Here is the best picture I got of it:


I think if we were just quiet enough, we could hear the organ playing…



After hitting the sack and waking up to disembarkation in droves, we took our time as we elected to self-debark. Apparently this means being the last off the boat. We finally got around to trying out the coffee from the gourmet shop and sitting on the promenade.







We finally managed to grab a taxi and roll our way back into the heart of Miami. We checked back into the hotel we stayed at before departure and we truly realized that our Christmas trip was coming to a close. This was so profound that Janelle even developed a face that displayed how she felt leaving the cruise behind:


”Sad cruise-ship face” – is what I call it.

So with dropping off our bags and picking up a rental, we were ready to check out the city. The men elected to stay behind and we ventured onwards…

Read more...

A Grand Turk-y (Part 5)

Our last port of call was the island of Grand Turk. Straight away, this port may just have been the most beautiful of all. A picture-perfect island in the Caribbean set against the backdrop of the most beautiful blue waters on earth. Does Janelle want to move here too?





Our tour today was glass-bottom kayaking with a side of eco adventure – whatever that means. We boarded the little shanty bus and tumbled our way through the town and over to the far side of the island.


The island was littered with donkeys.







Our bus was filled with irritating Americans who thought that everyone else wanted to hear everything they said, so they hollered it loud and proud. Sitting in the very back of the bus didn’t exempt us from their discussions, apparently.




Kayaking in the presence of a bunch of newb’s is always a frustrating experience simply because they don’t get how turning works (neither does Marty always, mind you) so they just crash into you and then stare and jab their paddle against your boat to steer themselves away. I’m no pro but, you know, learn some geometry (and manners) people! UGH.


Our eco adventuring brought us to the very coast and we could see the waves coming in. Also, from there you could see a shipwreck sticking out of the water. Gave me the chills!





Even the port area was pretty amazing, as far as port areas go in the Caribbean. They had the whole jewelry/tshirt/booze shop thing down to a T.




John Glenn looks to be kind of a big thing on the island because in 1962 his Mercury 7 spacecraft landed in the vicinity of the island. I like astronaut things.




I’m not a beach person, but even I can recognize that as far as beaches go, this one is pretty dynamite.





That night we ate, once again, in the dining room. These days are coming to a close, and we would not want to miss the singing and dancing stylings of Pras and that guy who always dances with the beer bottle on his head.




And here we are again! I could make a coffee table book.







As this night was the final formal night, the parentals decided it would be nice to do a family photo on one of the many cheesy backgrounds stationed around the ship. Coming right up!


Oh look! There we are, just standing outside, on the deck of our cruise ship (on the edge of Glory), everything around us perfectly illuminated by the perfectly spherical moon. I’m flying, Jack!

Well, our last full day on board is tomorrow and we’ll eat enough to get our money’s worth for two cruises. Six meals in one day? I think so! Isn’t it riveting?

Read more...

¡Hola! (Part 4)

I was really looking forward to visiting Puerto Rico, mostly because it seemed like the only destination with a substantive history and culture. That sound snobby, but how about this: Marc Anthony isn’t even from here, but I can’t help but think about him each and every time I say the word Puerto Rico. And with that little intro, here is our boat docked in the very rainy (and then hot) port at Old San Juan, Puerto Rico.



We booked a city tour, which took on a dramatic twist when Janelle lost her ticket and was almost denied boarding the bus. Cue one sippely baby. Thankfully her baby-sized tears were enough to persuade the tour operator to let her come along anyway. We were happy too, because otherwise Janelle would have been one crabby kid for the next few days. And the ticket was never found.


Some old, museum-y looking building.

Our first stop was about 10 feet from where we were picked up, at the Castillo de San Cristóbal, a Spanish fort. The geris were pretty psyched that they were given an hour or so to wander around some stone walls (although they will all be back on board 20 minutes early to get good seats on the bus.)







We had some wild waves bringing us into port during the night and it looked just as bad heading out, from my estimation.
























Sometimes, on a cruise, you just really miss land. I was happy for being on land today…where are my sea legs (and stomache)?




Ye olde ponytail holder.



We totally went back to the bus 21 minutes early to steal some better seats. Hah! Take that, geris.




This is a statue of some guy pointing at something.

We then drove another 10 feet and de-boarded the bus again in the town square of Old San Juan. We were given a chunk more time to wander the streets (and attempt to steal Wi-Fi at Burger King so I can check the Canucks scores.)













It got crazy-stinkin’ hot outside the closer the clock inched towards late-morning. Cue sweat.







As you can see by now, San Juan is a ridiculously cool, colourful, and charactered place. Janelle started telling people she was now going to move to San Juan, which prompted a store clerk to seriously query Janelle on time-lines. She obviously doesn’t know Janelle. Janelle is verbally moving to every city in the world, all the time.




Oh yeah…it is Christmas season in the tropics.







After a trip to Starbucks (where we all had to furiously “check-in” on Facebook – except for poor Marty, who was without an iPhone at the time), we re-boarded the bus to depart for the new side of San Juan. This time, we traveled more than 10 feet, so those good seats stolen from the geris paid off!



Uh…I guess I didn’t take any photos in new San Juan because it just looked like Florida and we didn’t actually get off the bus. So, we headed back to the boat and ate some lunch before heading off again in search of the original Piña Colada! Do you like Piña Colada…?




Not sure what is happening here, but it’s kind of awesome.







Barrachina – one of the many Puerto Rican spots to claim ownership of the original Piña Colada – was our selected establishment to partake in this local delicacy, as our tour guide, a local, insisted that this place was the real-deal. Four, please!








Delicious. I love rum.


¡Hola! Español!

We trudged back on board for our sure-to-be-bumpy journey to our last port of call, Grand Turk. I guess I’ll be returning to Puerto Rico soon…I mean, if Janelle is moving there and all… I bet she has entirely forgotten about this by now. Ha ha.

Read more...