Chilled Glace

MAY LONG WEEKEND. Can you guess what the traffic is like leaving Canada’s largest city on a long weekend? Well, there were a lot of Chinese people pulled over on the shoulder, and that didn’t help at all. Our destination was accordingly busy, considering it is arguably Canada’s biggest tourist attraction, Niagara Falls. Also, it was filled to the brim with drunk American teenagers! Yay for a three-years younger drinking age…

First stop was Starbucks to hand over my hard-earned dollars for fraps at inflated prices. Mmmm java chip.





Wow, Niagara is sure a tourist-trappy place. Once you get to the falls though, it’s nothing but nature. That, and a representative from nearly every ethnic group on planet earth.



We decided to brave the falls and suited up for a journey on the Maid of the Mist. Before the trip, I wasn’t sure if we’d go on the boat or not, so I didn’t pack appropriately. But how bad can it be?....I thought to myself as they hand me a full-body hooded blue poncho…


Adults. Yes.





It was a race to get a spot on the railing and we weren’t nearly aggressive enough when getting on the boat. But the falls are big, so we should be able to see. We puttered off on our journey.






I look like a little kid.




Thanks to Shannon and Brent for all these pictures of me in my blue poncho!

The voyage was…like riding into the eye of a hurricane. I thought I’d get a good look at the falls from up close but turning my face towards the fall was like burying my head in a bucket of water. All I could do was try to seal off all entrances to my poncho to save my Gucci bag from getting drenched. Eeeeeekkkkk!


This is pretty much the view for the whole time we bobbed in front of the falls.


lol Shan.


Like a turtle, retreating into my shell.












Shannon’s little finger windshield wipers.

And when the boat finally hightailed it out of there, I felt/looked/(smelled?) like a wet dog. Wow. What fun! Let’s stay on the boat for the next trip! Ha ha….?



We plodded our way closer to the falls and then things started to get a little hairy…er.



Clearly, for safety, one should not do whatever the man in the sign is attempting to do. But wouldn’t you know it…not 10 seconds after we saw the sign, the unthinkable happened…



It was perilous. I had to save her life. I’m kind of a hero now, but I don’t need medals or anything.











Ah, there are only so many pictures one can take of a large amount of water. Eventually we hiked up the hill back into town for some grub and then moseyed our way out of town for the long haul back to the big city. It was so hot.





That night I met my best friend who will be with me for life. Or at least for the summer – McDonald’s Chilled Glace. Shannon had told me about their Iced Coffee to which I responded, “I don’t do iced coffee and I don’t do McDonald’s.” She was so polite with my pretentiousness. Brent, however, ignored it and bought me one anyone. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME! And the cup said “Chilled Glace”. So, that’s it’s name.


zomg