shotgunnottakinghell!

>> Thursday, August 31, 2006

Konichiwa! I'm finally doing this! Since I was a major gramps last night and went to bed at 8:00 PM, I figured I could stay up today and do this...at least until 10. I'll do my best to not conk out on this.

UPDATE: I ended up going grocery shopping and then to bed, so now Im working on this during my lunch hour. Good times.

UPDATE: I didn't finish it on my lunch, so I'm doing it after supper +1 day. I suck.

So I've been here (in BC) for a month today, and it has been very nice! I have pictures from what I've been up to, so I hope you enjoy my weaving of tales. Exunt!

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My new position is considered "government", so with that, comes the obvious benefits (um, handsome salary, top-notch benefits, and unbelieveable perks). Hence, I was given a budget to redecorate my desk (lamps, pictures, plants, etc) so off I went to Ikea (of course!) They had these new hand-pillow contraptions:

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Um...I'm making a strange face in this one...that is NOT my chin.

Ikea was the usual, so I just picked up some bamboo, vases, big picture, and some lampies. Noice!

Later that night I went out for some complex exploration (walking down our three streets) and some quality curb-sitting...

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Moonie!

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My days are pretty chill since I dont have a house/husband combo to take care of, so I troddled with my aunt out to the sticks to pick up some fruit and veggies.

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Yes! We got the only parking spot! In yo' face rug-munchers!

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Wong Farms - The farm marketplace that didnt actually grow any of the vegetables or fruits you buy there.

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Yeah, those are some nice melons...no big deal.



Next day it was a real doozer outside and so I wanted to venture into nature. Me and the Aunt ended up heading to Cascade Falls near Mission.

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That was nicebut what is wrong with this picture? Can you pick it out? Yes, thats right - those are insoles in my shoes and I would not be able to wear those shoes on an airplane. Basically, those people at the falls should have been worried that I was going to blow them up. Basically.

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Terror comes in all shapes and sizes.

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...like this. (Way to make those kids pee their pants Mildred!)

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Later that night, Beaner and I decided that we wanted one of our favoritest smoothies, so we headed to Silvercity in Mission. It was there that our evening took on a dramatic turn of events. After we had purchased our smoothies, we sat outside the theatre like ruffians and listened to the Enya they had playing over the speakers (to deter loiterers such as ourselves). All of a sudden, there was a kerfuffle and some cussing was heard in the parking lot, near one said Enya speaker. Turns out, some dude was smacking his femme around and a crew of football-y looking guys had swooped in to rescue her and detain him. He was yelling to f-this and f-that and she was crying. Then, the fuzz arrived and arrested him. Then, our smoothies were gone, so we decided to take a walk around the area.

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As we were walking by an optical place, something caught my eye as we walked past this poster

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No lie! Youd think someone would look at it before it was made into a giant, indecent poster advertising frames for the yuppie set. Ahh, good times.

One Saturday Beano asked me if I wanted to join in on a trip to Richmond to get a English/Japanese translator for her trip to Japan. Shes leaving in two and a half weeks, so she wanted to get a camera in Langley also. Sniff sniff...it was so cute how excited she got:

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Then it was onto Richmond for the search...

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Yes! Its the new Supermarket 2000! I can say, first hand, it is much better than the 1000 model. I tell you no fibs.

We first when to one mall where we were the only white folks, then onto the second plaza where again, I was whitey mcwhite. Everyone we asked about translators kept directing us to this mystical book that kept eluding us everywhere we went.

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Me, laughing at our trivial efforts.

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Jamie and Jean wandering towards our next mall excursion in search of the bookstore

Oh! We finally found it

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It was so totally closed. Not best.

After our crushing defeat, we wandered around and did some perusing of the asian wares.

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Sweaty pocaris are so hot right now. My friend Brett says it tastes like bottled fish sweat.

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So, we came home empty-handed when it came to a translator, but we bought other weird crap, so...two thumbs-up.

The next morning, I tore up Abby on my bike, and came back with only minor woundage.

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And a row of blackberry thorns in my head. I'm so hardcore! Or, like, not even close to a little bit. Oh tame fun, how I love thee.

The weekend before last Jean and I decided to kick it with our people and went to Anime Evolution at SFU. Everything you think about nerds and anime dweebs is all true. I think its pretty safe to say that Jean and I are the exceptions to the rule. Oh, and her friends Sonja and James who were also there:

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She made those costumes! How amazing. Okay, so I've just proved myself not an exception to the rule, but I'm coming to terms with it. We were not nearly as bad as this one guy who was doing a slideshow on the best places to visit in Japan if you are an old-skool comic fan. This guy was certainly old-skool...he was also pushing at least 50. He showed us the Bandai museum and many shots of him posing as Power Rangers and at least 200 figurines that he could name. Um...riiight.

The biggest event of the day was the AMV (Anime Music Video) Contest this is where people splice and dice stuff from their favorite anime and set it to music. Seriously, what kind of people have that much time on their hands and actually put that much effort into something so lame - It is the epitome of "I need a life." Sigh. So we stayed for the whole thing and voted for Rurouni Kenshin! (I *heart* Kenshin!)

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This chick did an awesome Vincent from Final Fantasy VII. Mad props.

As the day came to grinding halt, me and Jean snuck into Anime Idol after the event on the main stage turned to shit. (Actually, it was shit from the beginning, but to be honest, we werent paying attention.) Anime Idol turned out to be not much better, with really half-assed singing from girls who sang in a foreign language.

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What really brought the whole event together (for me, at least), was the fact that as soon as you walk in the doors, they give you the biggest bag ever and guess what? You gotta cart that shit around all day! Oh best!

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Good times had by all.

This last Sunday my aunt and I went to the PNE (Pacific National Exhibition).

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There was this crazy bee display (yes, the bees were crazy) and it kind of creeped me out.

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All the wax you see on the side is from three days work. They actually had waxed part of the boot to the box. The beekeeper said that eventually the boot would be fully attached to the box and they will turn it into their home. Sketchy!

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This is my little buddy alpaca Joe.

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This damned llama would not pose for a picture with me properly. He was such a little shit that I said he can go to hell and I was going to take the picture without him. I sure showed him.

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This horse was being pleasured when this shot was taken. Can't you tell by the far-off look in his eye? He was making these horse lips and whatnot. Oh, and when I say pleasured, it means his owner was itching him on his underbelly stuff.

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Then the horse pulled a Michael Hutchence and got all pissed that I took a photo of him getting off. He told me to royally fuck off and that was that.

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Sand sculptures:

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I sure did eat a lot of food (natch)...I had a box of granola bars (before we even got there!), a plate of greasy Ukrainian food (perogies, cabbage roll, sausage), caramel apple, popcorn, lemonade, and soft serve. Yummmm.

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That caramel apple was homemade and dang good.

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The popcorniest was hot chili flavored and it was scandalous.

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At the Pacific Coliseum, they had this Thailand lamp show thing which was not like lamps at all, actually, but cool light structures:

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That frog looks good in fishnets.

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Okay, so I gotta saythat wasnt my best blog-o, and I know it. This one was kind of behind because I was working on finishing my CGA course (which I finally did), so sorry about that. I also have been working on it at three different intervals. I'll do better next time!

So tomorrow starts the long weekend, and I had high hopes, but I'm not sure what I'll actually end up doing. In a surprising turn of events, my buddy Jen is out for the weekend, staying in White Rock until Tuesday. Beano and I may go see some Bard on the Beach and have a pic-a-nic, or I may go see 'This is Our Youth" solo. Aaaand Im hoping to wash my car at some point. I just "obtained" V for Vendetta, so I might watch that too. Hope you all have an awesome weekend and a last hurrah for summer 2006. Sniff sniff. Have fun, you anonymous, faceless bunch. Cheers!

p.s...All of my punctuation didn't cross over when I copied this from word, so pardon moi, por favor.

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C is for Cookie

>> Thursday, August 3, 2006

I haven't blogged in SO long! Geeeeeeeeeze! A few things have come about, such as I am now a BC resident and have switched my job, my car, my residence, my friends, and basically my life as a whole. Yeah, no big deal except the hugest deal of my life.

I have a bit of a random stockpile of photos, so I'll try to weave some kind of massive story from them, mmmkay?

This is B:
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She is my hot little sister and she is very lovely. We had a very nice sister's weekend a few weeks back when my older sister came from Calgary so I took my BRAND NEW CAMERA (no big deal) and took some shotty shots. Do I look like my sisters at all?

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(Why do I post such awful pictures of myself? ....more to come later...)

The weekend before I skipped outta town, we went for supper with Kelly and Cephas to Colosseo Ristorante on Corydon.

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They are always such b's there. When we go for supper with Kelly and Cephas, we make sure we always go to a place we both have a coupon for in the Entertainment Book. So we went, and we didn't give the coupon to her right away and she was a bit of a b to us. I don't like giving it to them before we have our meal because then they treat us like crapizzle. Fo' shizz.

After we stuff our gullets, we headed over to Kelly and Cephas's to watch 'Date Movie' on their new big-ass tele. It was pretty nice, but at the same time sucked because then Marty was thinking we could get one. Nice try, yo. Nice try. Oh, and the movie was shizzy. Um...then we went for ice cream.

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I was so full. *This is NOT a dramatization.*

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The week went by uber fast. On Thursday, my loverly place of employment threw me a farewell lunchy at wherever I wanted. I chose Moxies (you are welcome, boys.) There were 18 people there, so that means that at least 25 percent felt somewhat fond of me. Ha! Best! So many people care...sniff sniff. Even my old boss/buddy Horatio came for the event:

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And of course, your friend and mine, Queechon Carlos Cognosio Jackson:

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And some of the loverly ladies:

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Sniff sniff

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After work I went for a 90 minute massage in which I was rubbed very hard, it was hot, and then I fell asleep (insert joke here). I met up with my old pal La Funk at Perkins for some suppa.

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It was such shizz! I ordered this salad and some of the lettuce was all brown and wilty (grossie), so I picked it off and when she (finally) came by to ask how everything was, I said the lettuce was grossie. She said that's how all the lettuce was coming into Winnipeg. ...Um...yeah right b! I paid 12 shittin dollaz for that crapizzle that's what you layin' down? I just about when gangsta on her ass, but I was still tired from being rubbed.

Friday the 28th was my last day with AU...I got into work only to find all my desk crap strewn everywhere and a million sticky notes on my monitor...

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Gee, I wonder who did that? (Courtesy of Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo)

I ended up going for lunch with my buddy Kelly to the Promenade Bistro in the Frenchie Quarter and it was soooo greasy-spoon diner-ish. But I was happy to see her again before I left.

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And now, I'm going to try something all new for a blog...a self-explanatory interlude.
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End of Interlude.

Friday after work, we had a bit of a partizzle at Tavern United, just me and the bros and hoes. Brett bought me and Queech some dirty hookers. Sigh..they were so beautiful...so tasty. Lemme just say this now: Brett, if you ever need a dirty hooker, I will buy one for you - heck, maybe even two. I got your back bro. I got your back.

Then....it was onto the martinis.

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Martini 1

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Martini 2

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Pina Colada 1 of 2 (Thanks for the booze brozefs!)

It wasn't ideal patio weather...kind of rainy and windy, but it did not dampen my spirits. Literally...we had an umbrella.

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Patti and her first mini bottle of wine of three

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After some sad goodbyes, Patti was still raring to party, so she got more wine and we chit-chatted about more things than I thought I would ever chit-chat about with her...(booze'll do that.)

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The next morning I was up on my way out of the city at 5:30 AM.

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I did NOT doll up at all to drive, so nya. The beginning was okay, but by the time I hit Portage, I got a little bored. So, being the enterprising young lass that I am, I decided to take up reading my Blender while driving (and apparently taking pictures of myself.)

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(See? I said bad pictures.)

That ONE magazine took me all they way from Brandon, through Saskatchewan...

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... and into the edge of Alberta. Driving never went by so quickly and/or dangerously.

There were bits of time when I wouldn't read, like driving throught the podunk-towns so I wouldn't hit the pedestrians and shizz, so I developed what I like to call "The Agricore United Location ID Game." In this game, I utilized my knowledge of the Agricore United asset subledger to correctly identify (based on memory) the location ID that will identify the assets for the elevator I was passing. Example:

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Qu'Appelle Valley = GRQUAP1

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Dunmore = AGDUNM1
Man, I am so best.

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Of course, Medicine Hat is home to the World's Largest Tepee. Am I the only who thinks that it would be a better claim if it was covered and people could actually stay there? Like, the tepee hotel! Coolie!

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Upon arriving in Calgary at 4:30 PM local time, I dented the shizzle out of the bottom of my new car and headed over to Sis's place. She suggest the Keg, and I was like, hell yes! And then she said she was going to pay for me, so I was like, hell yes! x2.

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My version of Ashlee Simpson's old nose. (SNAP! BURNT!)

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This is my big sis, Sis. Thanks Sis.

The next morning I headed out again bright at early, at 5:30 AM local time.

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Not much to report for the day...drive was good! I drove a bit like a maniac, but once I reached the Coquihalla highway, it was hard not to. Average speed was probably 145 km/h. Turning at that speed is pretty freaking scary! After I almost hit someone, I decided to slow it down...and since I was about an hour away from Abbotsford, it was no real sacrifice. Man, those people were mad though. They rolled down their window and bitched me out so hard! I however, couldn't hear a damn thing they were saying since I didn't roll down my window to hear them. So all in all, we both won. Yay us.

I went to work on Monday and got paid as soon as I got in. 'Twas nice. On Monday night, the whole gang of us (cousins, aunts, uncle) headed to the rec centre to swim our patooties off. The only real reason I'm typing this is so that I can post this picture:

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This is my cousin Kaitlyn. I told her she to flex her muscles because she looked like a wrestler. Best!

So...to make a long story short, I'm here now. This is what I've been waiting/hoping for, so it will be interesting to see how everything turns out...to those back at home, don't forget me! DAMN YOU! (or not...I'm so kidding doodies. I heart ya's.) To those here or those I've not met yet, holla! I'll see what the long weekend brings, but hopefully everyone has a really awesome one...take care!

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