Wax On, Wax Off (Day 4)

Urk…the sun came far too quickly in the morning as we decided to get up early in order to make it downstairs in time for breakfast. There were two Japanese men eating breakfast when we came down and I desperately attempted to decipher their conversations to very little avail. All I could figure was that one was talking about his daughter and they needed to leave the B&B by 11 o’clock.

Since we took it so easy yesterday, we decided to jam this day with stuff. After all, Marty was only here for six days and we needed to make the most of it. First place we tried to get to fairly early to avoid the crowds, but we were unsuccessful as apparently a few hundred celebrities beat us to it – some alive, some dead. Arriving at the Baker Street station, we saw Sherlock Holmes.






Kate Moss


I think Julia’s had some work done. Too much Botox.


Picard! Professor Xavier!


Yikes, Nicole looks shinier than usual.


I’m also puzzled why Mel Gibson looks so possessed. Creepy.


”I have had it with these motherf-ing snakes on this motherf-ing plane!” Also, “Cut the crap, man, this is Shaft.”


Real enough to lick. Not that I did.


Imposters.


Colin Farrell


Even Harry Potter showed up.


A terrrrrible-looking Jennifer Aniston and completely normal-looking (read: crazy) Tom Cruise.


Captain Jack Sparrow


Captain Teague


He refused to recreate his upside-down kiss from the movie, so this is as good as it gets.


The Governator and Marty


Robin Williams


I must have missed that Indian Jones movie where he was being chased by a giant disco ball…


Christopher Reeve in his Superman costume


The Hulk originally posed nicely for this picture but right before I snapped it, he turned all mean-looking like that. I wasn’t too pleased he was going to squish Marty, so I kicked him and then his face got real ugly:


And that was that.


Oprah and Whoopi


Marty and his girlfriend Sarah Michelle Gellar Prinze Jr dressed in the same colours! How cutesy. Barf.


I also ran into my twin, (according to one person, at least) a young Marlon Brando. At least my twin wasn’t an old Marlon Brando.


Shrek


I don’t remember him being so…brown.


Tiger Woods


David Beckham


I decided to give Lance a run for his money on the bike. As you can see, he is tired and stopping here as I continue on and shout obscenities in his general direction.


Mohammed Ali


Even the Queen showed up! I wish she would have brought Prince William…or even Harry.


Yay! But he really should have peeled off that clear facial mask before heading out. I can’t image why he’d forget.


Harry! And Charles…and Camilla. Jolly good.


Queen Elizabeth I


Mary, Queen of Scots


The Bard and Erin. I was trying to think of a good, intelligent question regarding his plays. All I could come up with was, “What does ‘Exunt!’ mean?”


Stephen Hawking and Marty - my personal favorite. I was trying to make plans with him for the next day since we were going to be in Cambridge anyway.


Marty renouncing Darwinism with his thumbs.


This is Madonna and I, partying it up. Or me whooping in her ear.


The Beatles


Me and Justin Timberlake.


Kylie Minogue


Christina Aguilera


A very heaving (no, seriously!) Britney Spears.


Beyonce really likes to get oiled up before she goes on.


Freddie Mercury and that Hawkins guy from The Darkness


Pope Benedict and the Dalai Lama


Two very dead people: Yasser Arafat and Saddam Hussein


Some girl was sitting on his lap for a while. Awkward.


JFK and MLK


YIKES! Party crasher.


Jackie O


It looks like rigor mortis has set in.


Simon Cowell

There were also a few completely dead ones:




Ew.


HA HA HA HA! Jessica Simpson was relegated to the gift shop! She’s such a footnote to the entire attraction.

After we were all finished hob-nobbing with the celebs, we headed down to the south bank to take in the sights (which Marty had not yet seen) and visit the one and only Westminster Abbey.









After viewing where all the proverbial bodies were buried (Kings, Queens, etc), we headed back down past the parliament buildings over the bridge to the London Eye.




Here is where Ryu stood. Sigh.






The gurkin!


Buckingham Palace


The oft-reproduced (at least by me anyway) Big Ben and Parliament Buildings.


Marty, stifling a laugh at the skanky French lady who was getting busy posing for a boyfriend-initiated photoshoot.


The permanent London fog/pollution cloud.


River Thames

After the ride, we headed down into Oxford Circus so I could attempt to shop at Vivienne Westwood again. This time, I was successful. I was slightly worried that they would laugh me right out of the store since I’d read horror stories about the staff that work there implying you are too fat, too poor, etc. Well, I am, unfortunately, both of the terrible things they accuse shoppers of being (at least according to their standards), but they let me walk away with the purchase of a new necklace. I so desperately wanted to buy a sweater of some kind, but the $400 price tag was a bit of a deterrent. Oh well. Next time.


Random dog on side of a building with no face.

After doing some shopping in Oxford Circus, we decided it was time to hit the big leagues and attempt to gain entry into the world’s most famous department store, Harrods.





I didn’t know how difficult this was going to be since Lizzy told me that last time she tried to go there, they didn’t let her in. My strategy was to sneak in and hopefully they wouldn’t notice us amongst the herds. Turns out this wasn’t necessary and we happened upon a day where they let any Tom, Dick, Harry, Erin and Marty in. Perfect! I bought a pair of $20 tights. I almost bought one of the Maserati’s they were selling, but I wasn’t crazy about the colour. Then, I was going to buy a wax figure of myself, but I didn’t like my hair that day. Ah, good times. We decided to do some Sainsbury shopping for grub and call it a day. After all, tomorrow is coming and our legs may need to function.

Tomorrow we are off to Cambridge University in pursuit of science, beer, and Stephen Hawking.