Boringest Weekendiest

Aiet crew, here's the beef: I'm super dang-ass bored. Everything sucks - I'm wearing tight pants, so I feel fat. I have homework to do, but I'm not, so I'm screwed. Depressing, blah, blah, sucky, blah, blah crap. Okay, done.

So onto happy - here is a picture of me after the longest-ass bikeride of my life:

See the look of bliss on my face? I'm just gross and sweaty and pumped.

Some more happy - here is a picture of my ass in one of my favorite pairs of jeans:

If you want some better shots, just message me......you sickos! What do you take me for. GOSH.

So I'm doing this diet thingy...don't make fun. It's only for two weeks, starting yesterday, and I think it's going to be okay. Today I did have some sugar-free chocolate-covered raisins, but I don't know if that is expressly prohibited. I'll let you know if I end up super-skinny and then I will go on to sell this diet to the greater western world.

Don't worry, I don't actually think you care about my drivel...but at least someone reads this stuff, so I'll keep on posting. WOOT WOOT.

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In the Immortal Words of Lindsay Lohan

Thursday I went to Rumors Comedy Club - holy man! How many jokes about shitting your pants can someone make and you still laugh until you cry? Can't beat free laughs...those are the best kind. Thanks Kelly & Cephas!

WORLD NEWS: I had my first beer yesterday. Yes, this is the honest truth. I had a Moosehead. I realize now that I haven't been missing out all this time...chocolate martinis are still the way to go.

Dammit, why does it feel like family gatherings happen every few months? Oh wait, it's because they do. Can I kill myself now from overeating? Curse all you lovely mothers, aunts, and cousins that prepare such deliciousness that I stuff my face until even the fattest guy in the room is staring at me, bug-eyed. Curse all of you! Monday I begin my diet...yes...Monday.

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Bike-iest!!

I dreamed and I thought and I hoped for a bike:

And then I got a new bike! Check out the newest member of the fam:

LOVES IT! I am sending out a special thanks to Brett and Gord's for not laughing at me too much and helping me out. Woot!

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Lame-o Video-o

Hola. My face has de-puffified, thanks for asking. It has now shunk to this amazingly skinny, hot, sunken-cheekbones, model-type facial bone structure. Psych! April Fools....only three days late.

So I've posted some videos for the plain, shit-faced reason to take advantage of the new feature. They are boring EXCEPT for the sideways video of Jean eating greek food. CHECK IT OUT Y'ALL! Har har.

Dang, I have nothing else for now. I have to go to class tonight, so that sucks all the fun out of me. Our lecture today is on Audit Planning with Analytical Procedblah blah blah blah blahs. YAY!

Out.

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My puffy face.

This is my post-op puffy face. Boo! ...and I'm sharing it with you.

I'm adding this because you need balance the bad with the good.

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Hot damn - my beautiful face!

Damn. Honestly. I don't even enjoy ice cream right now. I'm sitting here with a gallon of ice cream in front of my face and I can't even enjoy it. The drugs though, oh the drugs. They were fantastic.

One time I was watching 'That 70's Show' and the doods were using some substances with affliated paraphernalia (beside the point) and they were commenting on how they should records what they think/feel/etc while under the influence. I should have done the same. Life came into perspective amidst the tooth-cracking noises. I felt nice. I sort of also became paranoid and thought I was going to die.

Upon looking for some consoling words, Marty offered, "Well...at least you never have to do that again." Nice.

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Joey jo jo Jr Shabadoo

What are you doing tonight? Hey lush, have fun...it's the weekend. Heading out for supper with some peeps, but hopefully not to slow-ass Carlos & Murphys. Actually, I'm not hungry at all...I just ate some soup (clam chowder) with stoned wheat thins and then some of those with PB and then half of a bag of choco chips. Dayum.

Starting school on Monday and I'm scared shiteless. Just the word auditing puts me to sleep. Actually, kidding. I wanted to be an auditor so bad I could taste it. My time will come yet.

Why do all the crazies go to Portage Place at lunchtime? I was there today, and I swear I was at a mental institution littered with people in those little handi-scooters racing each other and bums drifting to my direction with their hands out. It is almost like they are going to touch you...and then you do that little move - kind of like shimmying your body away and yelling behind you, "sorry!" I'm horrible. I know. It is a good walk though during my lunch hour and it is indoors all the way.

Damn you, Ray.

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I won't call this a blog.

The box was sweeeeeeeeeet. I'm not even kidding. I was like my living room except nicer with leather couches, tv, a fridge, phone, bar stools and counters and four rows of four seats overlooking the ice. Free food, free beverages of all kinds, and and I enjoyed all of it while sitting on the couch by myself, reading tabloids, eating chocolate, while feeling slightly bloated. Who could ask for a better night?

I've spent the last two or so hours working on my doll (see pictures). Dang! It was fun though...give it a try and post it so everyone can see what you'd look like in a perfect world! I SO almost put that little doll/kid hanging itself in my picture. It is from elouai. That expression is me most of the time...bored and/or pouty.

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a blog log

So I'm going to this Moose game (hockey) on Saturday and it is going to be sweeeet. It's in the box, so free food and beverages and I can put my feet up. I couldn't care less about hockey, but I MAY watch a few minutes. Sure beats eating chocolate on the couch by yourself reading tabloids and feeling bloated. Not that I know what that is like, either.

On a side note, I got my Valentine's present from eBay a week ago (Christian Dior sunglasses) and they are HOT. They make my face SMELL rich (whatever that means). I like them much. Marty ended up getting a couple of DVDs and a CD from his gift card. Of course.

Advertisement: Try a frrrrrozen hot chocolate from Second Cup! The tasty chocolate mixed with creamy milk creates a dazzling sensation in your mouth! Fro-coa! (Frozen cocoa)
Sorry, but they are damn good.

MEATLOAF!! (Not funny, sorry.)

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Burn the city down. (Blog!)

I like Valentines Day. It seems like crappy winter is almost over and better holidays are coming. Plus, I like any excuse for presents. I copped out and bought an easy gift (Future Shop gift card) because I don't let Marty buy CD's when there are bills to pay. He doesn't seem to understand BILLS>CDs/DVDs. I bought part of my own Valentines gift on eBay. If you know me, you know that sounds about right. Now I just need to wait until it freakin comes! GOSH!

Okay, I did something DUMB the other day. I know it, and am full willing to admit it. You know those "GET A FREE IPOD" offers and stuff? Yeah, well, me and my Louis Vuitton addiction filled-out a bunch of crap to get a $1,640 LV bag for free. You know what the best part is? You need to be an American citizen and give out your social security number for tax purposes before they send you the bag. I still need to figure out how I'm going to bypass that aspect. I NEED THAT BAG!! Holla!

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