Out Of The Frying Pan, Into The Fire (Part 4)

Despite having a heck of a time catching a cab from the hotel in Tuesday morning rush hour (thankfully the bellhop literally stood in the middle of street to flag one down, Hong Kong has their shite figured out. When I arrived at HK station to catch the train back to the airport, I checked in for my flight and they immediately checked my bag. CHECKED MY BAG in downtown HK. I proceeded to board the train in complete and utter adoration for the efficiency HK decided to leave me with. The sky was clear, the ride was smooth, and onboard I had the pleasure of witnessing another phenomenon of Asia; the chubby, nerdy, old hippie white guy listening to headphones the size of Tim Horton’s apple fritters. Never fails.

The airport in Hong Kong was massive and thankfully buzzing despite the early hour – I bought wine, lipstick and had a really bad bowl of ramen, all before 10 AM.



You know who else has their shite figured out? Singapore Airlines. Since I had jammed myself with the bad ramen in anticipation of a foodless flight, I declined a menu when they were passed around. As a Mennonite, I was a little upset when I discovered they brought you a whole tray of food for free. Wah! I did, however, take advantage of the free Eau de Toilette in the…toilet.









My first thoughts of Singapore from the taxi were that it looks like a very large, meticulously-groomed retirement community, minus all the old people. Brett was kind enough to take the afternoon off to show me the lay of the land. Clearly, he was well-prepared and suggested our first stop on the tour be at the Long Bar at the Raffles Hotel, home of the Singapore Sling. Yessssss





There were peanut shells all over the floor inside the bar. You are expected to do this. So I ate peanuts and disposed of the shells on the floor. I felt very rude.
















What a beautimous hotel.

As one might imagine, I was pouring sweat by this time, which meant frantically fanning myself while holding a parasol, which made me sweat more. I begin to whine consistently about how I’m going to die before the week is through. Brett suggests I embrace it and soldiers on, by foot, through a wind-less, shade-less park.





Singapore’s mascot is a mythical creature called a merlion. It is exactly as one might expect – mermaid (merman) lion!


He also shoots water out of his mouth. Awesome.


Marina Bay Sands – resort/casino/crazy boat on top some skyscrapers.


Also, do you see the giant durian fruit-shaped building? I bet it smells like hot garbage in there. Durians bad.


Inside The Fullerton Hotel Singapore.


On the way to Boat Quay…


…was this.
a
It was time to get our dins on and Boat Quay was a willing provider. I WANT BURGER.









Continuing the orientation tour, we made our way to Clarke Quay, much prettier than Boat Quay. Sorry Boat Quay.





Ok, get this – they air conditioned the sidewalk! Where are we, Dubai?! Nice. Also, it looked like I was in Avatar.









We continued down the walk beside Singapore River in search of wine…yes. It’s that time of the day.






Found it!




For a primarily wine establishment, they sure were out of almost everything I tried to order (read: the cheap stuff). Conspiracy.

Back at the apt, we played a card game called ‘shithead’. Well, being a new player to this game means that you will inevitably get called the vulgar term on more than one occasion. Boooooo! I guess there’s motivation to win then…

Tomorrow Brett’s back to the office and I explore this new tropical environment on my own. Who will I complain to about the heat?