(Day 8) MOAr

The Mall of America is, in a word, ridiculous. I mean, it really is. For a serious shopper like me, it can either be an amazing haul or nothing at all because it is just too much. You gotta be in the mood to shop like this. Thankfully I had a good sleep the night before to help me rest up for the big day. I strapped on my athletic gear, did some stretches, and drank some coffee at The ‘Bou to keep the energy up. Will there be a Gatorade station along the way?




I’m not gonna front…I squealed with excitement as we drove by the sign. Yeah, I was here last night, but it’s better during the day.

I LOVED Camp Snoopy back when it was, well, Camp Snoopy. Some of the rides are the same but I couldn’t figure out heads or tails how much it cost to ride any of the current rides. All I saw were wristbands for little kids. Have they shut me out?



I am a firm believer that shopping is still successful when few items are purchased. The first items bought were some souvenirs for my nearest and dearest – these rad “Pets Rock” air fresheners and some magnets that have the F word all over them. HA HA HA HA HA. I’m lame/how inappropriate. Mom and I met for lunch and enjoyed some pizzas at Wolfgang Puck’s near Nordstrom. We then perused the wares at Nordstrom and every sales person in the store seemed to want to comment on my hair/accessories/outfit and then tried to sell me something that I would “totally rock”. This one girl tried to sell me a $1500 Givenchy bag that looked like a lunch cooler. Then, she tried to sell me some brown suede shoulder bag with fringe (ew). Then, she tried to sell me a Balenciaga clutch for $1200. She didn’t seem to get the hint, but I’m assuming she did when I didn’t buy anything she kept shoving at me.

Mid-afternoon was time, once again, for a ‘Bou Break. We even had Jesus as our cashier.









I finished my marathon in just over six hours. Yay me! The only other stuff I bought was $100 worth of cosmetics at Sephora. So…yeah. I could have just gone to Seattle to get the same stuff, but whatever. I had fun. We left the mall and headed into burbia for some Old Country Buffet. It was like a barn with tables and melted ice cream everywhere. After stuffing ourselves feeding trough-style, we had to stop at a Dodge dealership so I could stare through the window and watch my Dad look at cars. I’ve spent probably 6 percent of my life doing this very same activity.


Yeah…I mean, it COULD be a mid-life crisis thing.

On our way home, my Mom and I made my Dad stop at every possible big box store that may have some better varieties of K-Cups in stock. No luck. But I did find some other treasures.




Aren’t these capris amazing? But here’s their secret:

I believe they are slimming because everyone is too busy staring at the rainbow dots embroidered into the denim that no one notices how fat you are.



And, at last, the day closes much how it began, at The ‘Bou.




Someone is tuckered right out.

And with that, we begin to close the Minneapolis chapter. Tomorrow we head towards home, stopping in Fargo for the night. Here, someone at Applebees tries to make me hideously fat on purpose…stay tuned.